Android Pfeffer's Boneless Heart Club Band
In 1967 the Beatles shocked the world with the release of Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Fifty years later a group of immigrants from another Galaxy are taking the world by storm with their album Android Pfeffer's Boneless Hearts Club Band.
The first single released from the album, entitled Lucy Sold Her Sky for Diamonds, has been topping the British charts for over six weeks now and is keeping Simon Cowell up late at night in an attempt to find a way to launch a counter attack and protect his interests.
Original Wit reporters have managed to cut through the media fog surrounding the new group and promised album and have actually met with group leader and vocalist Android Pfeffer, a seven foot, tinny, introverted rocker. Though Android revealed little regarding the background of the group and its members, he was agreeable enough to provide Original Wit with some of the lyrics from the first side of the album that is due out later this year. Here are some of the lyrics from side one.
Android Pfeffer's Boneless Heart Club Band
It is fifty or so years from now
Sgt. Pepper takes his final bow.
Been replaced by android RC3
Quite a rocker as you soon will see
So let me introduce to you the band with not a beat to spare
Android Pfeffer's Boneless Heart Club Band
We're Android Pfeffer's Boneless Hearts Club Band
We're beamed to you from outer space.
We're Android Pfeffer's awfully lonely Boneless Hearts Club Band
We boast no members of the human race.
Android Pfeffer's Clones Best
Android Pfeffer's Boneless
Android Pfeffer's Boneless Hearts Club Band
You wonder how we got here
And conquered this here dome.
Sit back and hear our odyssey
Please try to feel at home with us
Please try and feel at home.
I don't really want to stop the show
But there's a fact I think you all should know.
There's a singers gonna sing a song
And he's decreed that you must sing along.
So let me introduce to you
The one and only Draco Shears
And Android Pfeffer's Boneless Hearts Club Band.
I Could Die for a Little Blood from my Friends
What might I do if you sang out of tune
I might be forced to come and show you my knives.
Please pay attention, I'll say this but once,
If you care in the least for your lives.
Oh I won't lie, I drink the blood of my friends
Yes by and by I like to drink from my friends
Oh, I just drink till all the red liquid ends.
What do you do when your love is away,
Does it worry you to be alone?
How would you feel at the end of day
When I dry you and leave you to moan?
Oh I won't lie I drink the blood of my friends
By and by I like to drink from my friends
Oh I just just drink till the red liquid ends
Do you need some more bodies?
No thank you I've got quite enough.
Can I sell you my body?
No thank you I've seen quite enough.
Oh I won't lie I drink the blood of my friends
By and by I like to drink from my friends
Oh I just drink till the red liquid ends.
Lucy's Sold her Sky for Diamonds
Picture yourself on a trip to Hiroshima
With tangerine eyes and hard purple rain
Somebody calls you, could be an enigma
Or a rat that's as big as a train.
Elephant trunks call from plastic bouquets
Beckoning to show you the way
Look out for samba to help you escape 'fore he's gone.
Lucy sold her sky for diamonds
Lucy sold her sky for diamonds
Lucy sold her sky for diamonds
Ah ha
Follow her down to a bridge on a river
Where once there was water but now has run dry.
Lucy just laughs when you offer to save her
For the living dead surely can't die.
Junkies and monkeys await on the bridge
Determined to take you away.
You wink for a drink
Alas when it sinks in, she is gone.
Lucy sold her sky for diamonds
Lucy sold her sky for diamonds
Lucy sold her sky for diamonds
Picture yourself on a train in a station
Where everyone's coming to wave you goodbye.
Suddenly something will catch your attention
A rat that's grown forty feet high
Lucy sold her sky for Diamonds
Lucy sold her sky for Diamonds
Lucy sold her sky for Diamonds.
Lucy sold her sky for Diamonds
It's Getting Wetter
It's getting wetter all the time, wetter wetter wetter
It's getting wetter all the time, wetter wetter wetter
I used to go dance in the rain.
My Ma did advise to refrain.
Gene Kelly and me, we lived to be free
And the friends of mine all did the same.
You've got to admit it's getting wetter
It's getting wetter no mistake.
Yes I admit it's getting wetter
So much wetter, for heavens sake.
I used to spend time in the park
I'd stay there until it got dark
The sun shone all day
But to my dismay
I now have to build me an ark
Cause as you can see it's getting wetter,
Getting wetter, mark my words.
Yes I admit it's getting wetter
Getting wetter, I guess you heard
Getting so much wetter all the time.
I used to conserve all the water in faucets,
Taught all my daughters, not to waste what was rare.
Now things have changed
It just pours when it rains
And my shower's a daily affair
Cause as you can see it's getting wetter
Getting wetter mark my words.
Yes I admit it's getting wetter
Getting wetter, I guess you heard
Getting so much wetter all the time.
Fixing a Hole
I'm fixing a hole on the top my head
That's caused malfunction and they said
“I need to go.”
I'm filled up with crack,
someone though it a joke
And now I walk just like a bloke
Who needs to go.
And it really doesn't matter how much oil I eat
For I'll be obsolete, before the morn.
Itsy bitzy robots sold on shelves,
On sale tomorrow
And a dumpster, I will follow
Short of dawn.
I'm turning the screw with which I hope to undo
Any problem due to rust, then I'll be
Like new.
Then it really will not matter how much oil I eat
Because I'll keep it neat, no-one will know.
People see me on the street
Will comment he has such nice feet,
I won't be indiscreet, not me oh no!
I'm finishing up and think I've done a good job
And if me legs stay on, I'm out of here
So here I go.
I've fixed up the hole on the top of my head
That's caused malfunction so they said
So off I go.
I've fixed up the hole on the top of my head
That's caused malfunction so they said
So off I go.
